January 2012
292 posts
pbrsmash replied to your post: Dear 2011,
i remember BALLING my eyes out at midnight. so depressed i had lived to see another year. im hoping i will change.
Yeah. Extremely depressing.
<3
Don’t hope, Believe.
Believe is having full faith it will come true.
Hope is something you expect to happen.
If you keep believing, results will come =]
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Dear 2011,
Thank you. It was definitely a hard year, but thank you for showing me what I’m capable of.
It was only end of November 2010 that I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
I’ve always had a feeling you would just be another dead-end year for me.
I started 2011 with a huge physical fight with my sister, who is celebrating her first New Years in another country.
I was scared. I...
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December 2011
396 posts
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Since my friend can’t go to the hookah party, I’m not going because it’s going to be pretty lame without her.
So I decided to spend my time watching kung-fu panda 2 and puss in boots with the siblings.
Enjoy every moment you have.
Never know when it will end.
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Check out Physics of the Future By Michio Kaku.
Amazing book and I plan on sitting in one of his lectures soon!(he is a professor at a college in NYC)
=D
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David Eagleman is so hot.
He can definitely unzip my genes.
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One thing you should remember before the New Year.
Don’t enter 2012 thinking you will become a changed person. You will finally be able to have the job you want or finally reach your weight goal.
Enter 2012 as a way to improve the things you’ve done in the year before.
There is never a new beginning, just a new chapter.
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Why would Barnes and Nobles sell a 40 dollar COVER when the nook itself ranges from 100-250. -_-
I love B&N but they are so overpriced.
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Going through a pretty bad caffeine withdrawal.
I didn’t realize the dependence of my caffeine addiction till I got hit with horrible withdrawal symptoms.
Severe headache, stuffy nose, sleepiness,etc…
Damn.
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Sorry for being gone for a while, just doing some last minute errands then New Years Eve party.
Hope you guys are well.
=]
Will get back to you folks next year =D
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“Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you...”
– Jim Rohn
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sorrowneverfades replied to your post: I got a violin for my 18th birthday and never used…
omg omg omg I have always wanted a violin ahhh fuck hm. how long have you had it/has it been kept in its case/have the strings been changed at all/do you know the maker or brand?
LOL
I don’t know anything.
And it has been in the case for the past 4 years =| Untouched.
The strings sort of...
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Sister: Who's the most important person in your life?
Me: Myself then my family.
Sis: Why?
Me: In order to love someone else, I need to love myself first.
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Feel so relieved.
I didn’t think I would make it during a bad state especially the cancer scare, the endless fertility tests(which I have a couple more tests to be done next month), and going through a pretty bad stage of chronic pain.
All in one semester.
3.0 gpa for the semester isn’t that bad.
3.2 gpa overall isn’t that bad.
Great way of ending this semester.
Thanks.
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Got a B+ in Statistics and a C+ in Microbiology.
I guess I survived.
At least my gpa wasn’t totally smashed.
I guess a 3.25(didn’t get the official yet) isn’t that bad.
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I woke up got ready for an errand my mom told me to do.
My dad told me my friend’s dad died.
Her baby had brain damage due to a severe car accident and is mentally/physically disable just my sister use to be.
Except my sister’s was genetics, which already adds to my bad gene.
I was shock.
I have no idea what is going through her family’s head right now and especially the...
Thanks guys <3.
It means a lot realizing there are people that do care =]
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I’m here crying for no apparent reason.
I’m such a failure.
It just hit me all of a sudden.
I’ve detached myself from all my reality friends for over a month and seeing their facebook and everything and realizing I’ve not been invited or not even getting a text from them just saying what’s up.
I don’t expect anything from anyone and I’ve put so much...
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twilight-perfection:
Here is the deal, I too,am bipolar and it sucks and all that jazz..but the thing is I do understand how much the word bipolar is misused in the wrong context (for all intents and purposes, bipolar does mean extremities of the poles, don’t believe me? Look it up.) and instead it refers back onto others that have the disorder instead.
Also, it doesn’t help that mental...
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Obsessive-compulsive disorder: The Breakdown
alawah:
So firstly, I just want to discredit myself and tell you all I’m not a doctor, I don’t study in the field of medicine however I have had OCD since I was eleven years old (possibly earlier). I base my breakdown off of experience and information my doctor has given me. 1. What is Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)? OCD is classified as an anxiety disorder it’s characterized by...
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“You put your mental illness upon yourself”
Ahaha, I remember how traumatized I use to be when I would hear this especially from people who I thought understood me.
I sort of find it funny now, sick humor?
I just don’t understand how someone can make such a quick judgment.
There is almost always a reason why someone behaves a certain way or reacts to a comment.
...
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“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
– Dalai Lama
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The moment when you feel there is no point of your existence and that one person walks into your life who changes everything.
You feel as if your life has a meaning now.
You feel as if your life has finally begun.
You don’t realize that one person just showed you the path of recovery.
Nothing more.
Everything else was you.
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“Laughter is the best medicine”
I’ve heard this SO MANY times going through my diagnosis progress and my chronic depression state.
“You just need to smile, you’ll be happy.”
If only that was easy.
Depression is a severe state of sadness and cannot be vanished with a couple of happy moments.
Yes having a great laugh does help a lot but at the end of the day,...
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lovatoislouder:
Be careful what you say. It could be enough to kill someone.
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I've loved once. Died twice.
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Feeling of mental pain:
Doing anything possible to get rid of it.
Crying for help but not knowing how anyone can help you.
Having a million thoughts all at once and unable to get remove them.
The feeling of not being safe anywhere.
The continuously begging to feel anything but this.
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something-so-distant replied to your post: Feeling of stability: Thinking your “good” mood…
your posts are so spot on!
ahaha thanks.
I try. ^_^
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Feeling of stability:
Thinking your “good” mood is surreal.
Not knowing whether your stability will last.
Afraid people will think you put an act all these years.
Feeling the dependence of medication.
No one will help you when you do have a relapse.
Not knowing whether your feelings now are the real you or just what the medications are doing.
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Dear future me,
I hope you’re as strong as you’ve been for the past year and half.
I know this journey has just begun, but just keep believing.
Just keep believing that your life will hopefully continue being stable.
You’ve fought many battles in the past, win the war.
Show others that miracles can happen.
You’ve seen the good in your mental illness and you’ve...
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Dear friends and family who I’m afraid of telling about my mental illness,
I’m come to terms with my illness.
I’m not afraid of it nor do I really expect anything from you such as support or anything.
I am just afraid of the stigma.
It’s hard enough receiving hateful messages and such from strangers and people who think my mental illness in my head.
I really...
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Cleaned my room, did my nails, cleaning my bookshelf all at 2 am -_-
It’s always peaceful at this time.
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The feeling of after being diagnosed:
Having some sort of relief that it isn’t your fault of somethings you’ve done in the past.
Realizing you might need medication and therapy for the rest of your life.
Fear of medication side effects.
Fear of not being able to get help because there is no way of helping you.
Not knowing how people will react of your mental illness.
Not knowing...
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The feeling of telling someone you have a mental illness:
The strong stigma that holds us back from telling someone.
Trusting someone with such a big secret.
Fear of their reaction especially when people have hurt you in the past.
Fear of what they will think of what I’ve done/do because I’m mentally ill.
Their comment that you don’t “look” sick.
Their reaction...
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The feeling of being mentally ill and school:
Not knowing if you can keep going.
Having constant feelings of being a failure.
Feeling insecure about your intelligence due to the fact that you have mental pain that sometimes make you incapable of achieving your goal.
Having test anxiety.
Feeling insecure you need extra time on exams.
Having to explain why you missed a class.
Feeling the urge...
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The feeling of losing a loved one:
Regretting not spending enough time.
Regretting fighting, hating, and being angry.
Regretting not saying good bye.
Feeling that you’re the blame for their death.
Smelling their clothes and never washing them fear of losing their scent.
Crying wishing you died with them.
Knowing you will never love someone like you loved him/her.