South Asian and Mentally ill.
I only know two to three people in reality who has a mental illness that has been diagnosed by a psychiatrist and have at one point gone to a therapist and taken medication.
My cousin has bipolar disorder, but he self-medicates himself and my uncle, the psychiatrist, diagnosed himself I believe.
Even though they say you can’t diagnose your own family members. Whatever.
I only know one Pakistani guy that is diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but I dislike him for obvious reasons.
Muslims and mental illness? I have spoken to Saba Malik, who has an amazing blog on her bipolar disorder.
It’s hard realizing that there are rarely any people in my cultural background that are diagnosed with a mental illness.
Most are self-medicating their depression, are bound by cultural taboo(which I have encountered numerous times), and just the thoughts that you can pray yourself to health while trying to avoid the urge to cut yourself.
I’ve tried helping a few of my friends, especially since they want to know how I’ve “come out” and did get professional help for my illness.
It’s nice, but honestly, I can’t handle it.
It only brings me down, hearing other people’s stories, and 99% of the time, they just want you to be their own personal “therapist.”
They don’t get the help they need.
They probably won’t, even if you give them the phone to make an appointment with a psychiatrist.
Sometimes, there is so much you can do.
Are you having a bad day?
Everyone has bad days. Being mentally ill just makes our bad days 10X worse. We end up cutting, suicidal, crying, etc. I do at times have suicidal thoughts(which has become very rare) and have the urge to cut, but I’ve been clean for around 8 months and haven’t attempted suicide for around 14 months. So how do I get through my bad days and still stay positive?
- Learn what is causing your bad mood. School?Take a day off or take a couple of hours to do something that distracts you from the stress. Go to your doctor and get a note to show your professors that you’re in a situation where you need to makeup an exam or if you can hand in your paper late.
- Did someone piss you off? Parents? friends? Stranger? Get yourself out of the situation ASAP. Take a long walk and cry. Crying is a stress reliever. That’s how I see it. If it’s cold outside, just sit next to a window and see the beauty of nature. When I’m outside I feel safe. I feel peaceful. I feel very calm. I stay outside till I cool down. [no pun intended =P]
- Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Take that day to understand why you feel this way. Sometimes there is no reason why you feel depressed or sad, but 95% of the time there is a reason. One of the main reasons, I have a mental illness is due to my sister’s death. I’ve learned visiting her grave has helped me and writing letters to her made me feel better. Also how much I’ve grown up since she died. Also if this happens more often, go to the doctor or therapist or talk to a friend.
- Had a fight with your friend? boyfriend/girlfriend? Parents? First thing that will come is anger and rage. You will feel like either hurting them or hurting yourself. First thing, remove yourself out of this situation before you say something you regret. Learn that this feeling is temporary. Try understanding the situation. Sometimes writing down the pros and cons will help. Also, when I have a fight, I always feel it’s their fault. I have lost my senses at times. Figure out what was the reason you guys fought and try clearing your mind and talk about it with someone else. Someone else perspective might help you. My best friend usually helps me through it and isn’t biased. She tells me the truth if I’m wrong or right.
- Feel fat? or having a bad hair day? Realize that the only person that really notices your flaws and your insecurities is yourself. Most of the time, you criticize your appearance so much, you feel as if everyone is noticing them. Honestly, most people don’t notice it. Only idiots who have nothing better to say do that. Don’t be sad. Remember beauty comes from confident. <3
- Bad grade? Feel as if you did horrible on your exam? It’s very very hard for someone with a mental illness to do well in school(most of us including myself). How smart we are, we have horrible anxiety, trouble concentrating, and feel as if we’ll never be successful. I remember drinking alcohol for the first time after I took my organic chemistry exam. Felt so sad. I ended up getting a 90 on that exam. Don’t ever underestimate your abilities. I am a hypocrite for saying this, but most of the time, we put ourselves so down, we do stupid stuff. Don’t do weed or alcohol to feel better for a bad grade. Grades are just numbers and letters. Your most important priority is your health. Focus on that and you will see how far you will go.
I can’t think of anymore. I’ll probably edit this later on.
Hope it helps.
Depression is humiliating. It turns intelligent, kind people into zombies who can’t wash a dish or change their socks. It affects the ability to think clearly, to feel anything, to ascribe value to your children, your lifelong passions, your relative good fortune. It scoops out your normal healthy ability to cope with bad days and bad news, and replaces it with an unrecognizable sludge that finds no pleasure, no delight, no point in anything outside of bed. You alienate your friends because you can’t comport yourself socially, you risk your job because you can’t concentrate, you live in moderate squalor because you have no energy to stand up, let alone take out the garbage. You become pathetic and you know it. And you have no capacity to stop the downward plunge. You have no perspective, no emotional reserves, no faith that it will get better. So you feel guilty and ashamed of your inability to deal with life like a regular human, which exacerbates the depression and the isolation. If you’ve never been depressed, thank your lucky stars and back off the folks who take a pill so they can make eye contact with the grocery store cashier. No one on earth would choose the nightmare of depression over an averagely turbulent normal life.
It’s not an incapacity to cope with day to day living in the modern world. It’s an incapacity to function. At all. If you and your loved ones have been spared, every blessing to you. If depression has taken root in you or your loved ones, every blessing to you, too. No one chooses it. No one deserves it. It runs in families, it ruins families. You cannot imagine what it takes to feign normality, to show up to work, to make a dentist appointment, to pay bills, to walk your dog, to return library books on time, to keep enough toilet paper on hand, when you are exerting most of your capacity on trying not to kill yourself. Depression is real. Just because you’ve never had it doesn’t make it imaginary. Compassion is also real. And a depressed person may cling desperately to it until they are out of the woods and they may remember your compassion for the rest of their lives as a force greater than their depression. Have a heart.
—
(via ifwewerefeckless)
Because it’s not just being sad.
(via afterdarks)
(Source: sherunsfromdarkness, via just-smileallthetime)
Understanding Why You Self-Harm(tw)
Many people who self-harm have no idea why they’re doing it. They just know they get uncontrollable urges to hurt themselves. They may worry that they’re “crazy”, or feel very upset and angry with themselves for not being able to control their behaviour. Friends and family members can also be baffled by self-harm, and not know how best to help.
This page looks at some of the most common reasons why people hurt themselves. It discusses the needs that self-harm might be meeting and how those needs can be met in other ways.
There’s Always a Reason
If you self-harm, you probably have good reasons for doing so. People don’t hurt themselves “just because”, or in order to be a nuisance to others. Self-harm is usually a way of coping with painful emotions. It may reduce those emotions, help you express them, or just help you function better in spite of them.
Below is a list of common reasons why people self-harm. Read through them, and see if any apply to you. If you’re not sure, think back to recent occasions when you’ve harmed yourself. What were the circumstances that lead up to the self-harm? How did you feel before and afterwards?
Common reasons why people self-harm
- to calm down when anxious, angry, overwhelmed, or tearful
- to replace emotional pain with something physical that you know how to deal with
- to release painful feelings, or take the edges off them, so you can function normally
- to prevent yourself from taking anger out on other people or hurting them
- to distract yourself from other problems in your life
- to slow things down when the world seems to be spinning too fast, or when your thoughts are racing out of control
- to help yourself focus
- to punish yourself, when you hate yourself or feel guilty, ashamed or inadequate
- to keep happiness under control, if feeling happy seems alien to you, or if you know there will be a come-down
- to feel something instead of being numb, to prove that you’re alive or make yourself feel real
- to get in touch with your emotions
- to stop yourself from dissociating
- to make yourself dissociate so you can escape from your problems for a while
- as part of a ritual that helps you feel safe
- to express or communicate how you’re feeling (to yourself or others)
- to prove to yourself or others that something is wrong
- to express how much you hate your body
- to help yourself get to sleep
- to prevent nightmares
- to stop flashbacks
- to stop hearing voices
- to take care of yourself by dressing the wounds afterwards – as an “excuse” to look after yourself
- to be taken care of by others (for example, when having your wounds treated)
- to make others notice you and your problems
- to be in control of something in your life, when everything else seems out of control
- to have a secret that others don’t know about, something that is just for you
- to prove that you can cope with the pain
- because you feel anxious or freaked out if you don’t do it regularly
Exercise: Print off the list of common reasons for self-harm, or copy it into your journal. Mark those items that you think apply to you. Now add anything else that you get out of self-harm. Try to be as specific as possible. For example, instead of “to help me cope with sexual abuse”, you might put, “to punish myself when I feel dirty”, “to stop flashbacks of the abuse” and/or “to be in control of who’s hurting me”.
What if you’re still not sure why you hurt yourself? Try not to worry about it too much. There are many things you can do to help yourself even if you don’t understand why you’re self-harming – take a look at our other self-help pages for ideas. You could also try keeping a self-harm journal where you make a note of what lead up to the self-harm and how you felt before, during and afterwards – this will help you spot patterns. A therapist might also be able to help you understand what you get out of self-harm.
Meeting Needs in Healthier Ways
Once you understand the reasons for your self-harm and the needs it meets, you can start to think about meeting those needs in healthier ways. Here are a few examples:
Reason for self-harmHealthier way to meet needTo calm yourself down.To punish yourself.
- Learn relaxation techniques.
- Use calming essential oils.
- Seek treatment for anxiety.
To communicate how you’re feeling.
- Try challenging the thought that you need to be punished.
- If you have good reasons to feel guilty or ashamed, try making amends with the person you’ve hurt.
- Seek a therapist’s or minister’s help in forgiving yourself.
- Try expressing yourself through art, music or creative writing.
- Learn some assertiveness skills so you can communicate with others more directly.
Exercise: Look again at the reasons why you hurt yourself. Now take one of those needs and brainstorm how you could meet it in other ways. If you get stuck, why not ask for help on our forums? You might also benefit from a therapist’s help.
you should check out this blog if you struggle with self-injury
